Ordinary Abundance

In my previous post – thank you for the wonderful and encouraging comments! – Karen mentioned the Myers-Brigg Personality Type Indicator and Ellen encouraged me to do the test.  I’ve done it before – years ago – and can’t even remember what I was, a clear indication that I was more into avoidance than introspection at the time!

So, I decided to do it again this morning.  It turns out I’m ISTP – Introvert (no big surprise there!) Sensing Thinking Perceiving (I’ve often called myself an “observer”).

Most of the ISTP traits were spot-on for me, but I struggled to recognize some of the others. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that they have been suppressed by external forces.

ISTPs have a compelling drive to understand the way things work. They’re good at logical analysis, and like to use it on practical concerns. They typically have strong powers of reasoning, although they’re not interested in theories or concepts unless they can see a practical application.  This is definitely true for me.  It explains why I was so bored at university – my courses were far too theoretical and general.  And I’ve been accused of over-analyzing things many a time!

ISTPs are fiercely independent, needing to have the space to make their own decisions about their next step. They do not believe in or follow rules and regulations, as this would prohibit their ability to “do their own thing”. Their sense of adventure and desire for constant action makes ISTPs prone to becoming bored rather quickly. Now this is where it gets interesting.  I haven’t been adventurous or exhibited a desire for action in a long time.  In fact, I have been inert – frozen.  Yet, I recognize the traits in myself from way back.  To me this indicates a disconnect from my authentic self – not a huge surprise, since I’ve known for a while that I’m not living congruently.

They are usually patient individuals, although they may be prone to occasional emotional outbursts due to their inattention to their own feelings .  Yup!

ISTPs are optimistic, full of good cheer, loyal to their equals, uncomplicated in their desires, generous, trusting and receptive people who want no part in confining commitments.  Spot on!

Do not function well in regimented, structured environments; they will either feel stifled or become intensely bored.  Check.

Learn best “hands-on”.  Usually able to master theory and abstract thinking, but don’t particularly like dealing with it unless they see a practical application.   Action-oriented “doers”. True, but once again, I’m bemused by the “action-orientated” aspect – that part of me has been suppressed for a long time.  In some ways I think I’ve veered a little towards INTP – they live in their heads most of the time.

Focused on living in the present, rather than the future.  I find this interesting, since I’ve really had to work on bringing myself back to the present.  I think it’s true for me, but at some point in my life the present became unacceptable and I learned to avoid it.

Love variety and new experiences.  Until I got sick of being criticized for it!  I was expected to settle, like everybody else.

Excellent “trouble-shooters”, able to quickly find solutions to a wide variety of practical problems.  I’ve often referred to myself as a trouble-shooter, especially in my working environment.  One of my biggest frustrations in life is that I can see what’s wrong, and how to fix it, but people are generally not prepared to listen to me, or risk the changes.  Maybe I haven’t “sold” myself in the right way and to the right people.

Results-oriented; they like to see immediate results for their efforts.  Yes, which is probably why the idea of losing 200 pounds over an extended period of time is so daunting.

Independent and determined – usually dislike committing themselves.  Sigh.  Yes.  I used to think everybody else had commitment issues, but I’ve recently realized that it’s me.

Usually quite self-confident.  Yes, even now.

The ISTP needs to lead a lifestyle which offers a great deal of autonomy and does not include much external enforcement of structure. ISTPs will do best working for themselves, or working in very flexible environments.  I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…  Interestingly enough, they also say that ISTP should not be stuck behind a desk and accounting is not one of the optimal career choices.

Not naturally good at expressing feelings and emotions. Tendency to be overly private and hold back part of themselves.  I have come to understand this about myself and I was shocked at first – I’d thought that I was an open book.

Need a lot of personal space, which they don’t like to have invaded. Duh!  I love my husband, but am happier living on my own.  Now we know why.  It’s absolutely not about him.

They have a tendency to hold back their own views on things. They like to listen to other people’s views, but are generally non-commital about expressing their own opinions.  This is so me!  I have very strong opinions, but I rarely air them and then only with my most trusted inner-circle.

Most ISTPs are afraid of having to deal with their deeper feelings.  You think?  I have become a master at the art of distraction.

Their habit of keeping part of themselves hidden may also serve the purpose of keeping a protective wall around their hearts.  Or a few layers of fat…

The ISTP  can get “stuck in a rut” and only do those things that are known and comfortable.  Helloooooo!

They may become overly paranoid about people, social organizations and institutions trying to control them.  Well, in my case, I actually was an over-controlled child.  I don’t think I’m paranoid, although I am rebellious.

They are highly tuned into their immediate environment, and driven to interact with it in a hands-on fashion.  ISTPs are natural mechanics, athletes, musicians, technicians, and engineers. They excel at tasks that require a great deal of tactile mastery, as well as quick, logic-based action.  I have to admit, this part came as a huge surprise to me!  Some sites refer to ISTP’s as “Craftsmen” while others use the term “Mechanics” yet I am the most hands-off person you can imagine.   But once again, I didn’t use to be like that.  I learned to sew as a young child and made my own (fancy) dolls’ clothes long before I went to school.  My mom is an accomplished life-long seamstress and until recently she made most of my clothes.  I think I stopped sewing in my pre-teen years in an attempt to distance myself from her.  Seems to me I stopped “doing” altogether.  You know when you visit a friend and she’s preparing a meal in the kitchen?  I’ll sit with her and chat, but I’ll never offer to help.  I remember being shouted at for doing things “wrong” as a child – dishes, cleaning, whatever.  It was just never good enough.  So I stopped.  And I haven’t thought of myself as a doer ever since.  I’ve certainly never thought of myself as an athlete, or a musician.  I might have to haul out my guitar this week while I’m on leave.  Do something!

They offer some advice to ISTP’s for living a happy life.  I’ll just mention a few, as I think they’re very relevant to where I am right now:

• Feed Your Strengths! Realize your gift at mastering your physical environment, and give yourself plenty of opportunities to exercise your abilities. Ride, play, paint, work it. Much of your sense of well-being will come from these experiences.
• Face Your Weaknesses! Face your fear of the unknown, and get yourself into new situations. Experience new activities and people with new perspectives. Don’t isolate yourself into a narrow and lonely existence.  
• It’s OK to Get Out of your Comfort Zone. Understand that the only way to grow is to get outside of your comfort zone. If you’re uncomfortable with an idea or situation because you’re not sure how to act, that’s good! That’s an opportunity for growth.
  
• Don’t fear the unknown. You can handle it.

I almost feel like having a good cry after doing this.  It’s been a revelation.  And in many ways it’s been liberating.  And reassuring.

I will probably think about it a lot in the days to come and will definitely share any further thoughts with you.