I think I’ve mentioned that my sister recently lost about 25 pounds on Weigh Less. She wasn’t fat; just a little soft around the edges. These days I barely recognize her.
But as you can imagine, the pressure on me has increased exponentially. If she can do it, while feeding a family, then why can’t I? Why have I been fat for 15 years? What is wrong with me?
The consensus seems to be that I should (a) get some willpower and (b) join Weigh Less. Because I clearly have (a) no willpower and (b) no clue.
Right.
To be honest, I did look up the Weigh Less groups in my area. The voices of authority have after all spoken. My sister is undoubtedly thin (and has won prizes in WL Woman of the Year competition).
Weigh Less is very similar to Weight Watchers. You weigh your food and go to a group meeting every week where you get weighed and motivated by a successful loser. They’re big over here. You can make your food as healthy or unhealthy as you want – they have a whole range of over-priced low-calorie processed crap that you buy, or you can go the whole foods way.
There’s just not a group in my area that’s going to work for me in terms of time. They’re all at 5pm or 5:30pm. For me, it’s a good day if I get to leave work by 5:30. Until I get truly up to date with my work I can’t commit to anything (at least with the dog training classes, Craig can go without me if needs be, but he can’t go and weigh in for me!). Even then I would have to find a class at 6pm or later.
But that is not my biggest concern about joining Weigh Less, or Weight Watchers, or whatever. These organizations teach you how to eat for weight loss, but I already know how to do that. In spades! It’s not even about willpower. I have lots of willpower.
My problem is that there is an emotional aspect to my weight that will cause me to sabotage myself and all my efforts until I sort it out. I’ve done therapy and read hundreds of self-help books, and the answer is 42 I’ve come a long way, but there are still some deeply buried issues.
I wrote the above part of this post a week ago, but since then a lot has happened…
First of all, thank you for the wonderful, supportive and uplifting comments on my previous post. There are times when you really are the wind beneath my wings.
Secondly, I worked very long hours this past week and made it through. Yes, I’m a bit banged up, because I certainly haven’t been taking proper care of myself, but I’m going to get lots of rest today. We will eat out and spend the rest of the day lazing around. And this coming week I might even take a day off – they owe me about 5 days off for overtime worked.
I got my copy of Women, Food and God last Sunday. I couldn’t wait to start reading. I read about 30 pages that night, crying most of the way through, and then didn’t have a chance to read again until yesterday afternoon, when I started at the beginning again. My head is hurting from all the light-bulbs going off inside!
There is no question about joining Weigh Less now.
This is huge! I will write about my thoughts, feelings and insights about this remarkable book in the near future.
I also ate something so amazing this week that it’s challenged most of my beliefs about food. Read all about it here.
Then there’s the dog training… I think in the long run this will benefit me as much as the dog!
So, while I may be really, really tired and achy, I am also filled with a sense of anticipation and hope.
I can still change the script of my life.
I know how you are feeling! When I read that book, I had light bulb moments on every page! I’ve spent six months doing the work on the inside…. and that book really inspired me. When you finish reading it, I would love to ask your opinion about a few things.
Many Blessings~
Charli
Extant Woman
You will get SO much from WFG! And did you know that Christie over at Honoring Health is doing a Monday book club on it? It’s a great thing! http://www.honormyhealth.com/
Hang in there Hanlie!
KCLAnderson (Karen) recently posted..The Emperor’s New Clothes
I haven’t read the book, but it sounds impacting.
You hit on a great point in this post. Weight loss is so much more than the obvious.
…motivated by a successful loser.
There’s an oxymoron if ever I heard one! And, it made me laugh out loud. ◕‿◕
BIG fan of Geneen Roth here. Have been for years.
Here’s to light bulbs!
I really need to read this book. I’ve been hearing rave reviews about her from everywhere.
Sometimes I find that all the self-help books and weight loss programs in the world won’t help unless we can really get a solid understanding of what is really going on. You’re right, it’s not about willpower. It’s about getting to the bottom of it. And we usually need to do that on our own.
Sagan recently posted..America the Beautiful
because I am in a ‘mood’ I am about to write what i am about to write.
I think your emotional issues with food have to do with your nosy family.
And your perfect sister.
crikey.
I don’t know why, but something about how you wrote your first paragraph really pissed me off.
Not at you.
but I could almost feel the judgement coming off the comments from South africa here in colo fricken rado.
There are words for nosy people.
they contain two syllables.
they are
BUTT OUT.
It is your business.
period.
you are so smart, and so put together, that anyone is judging you on your weight at this point is just ridiculous.
you deserve better,
and you deserve to know you deserve better.
So I am telling you.
hugs.
it sounds as if your sister just had a few pounds to lose
vs
someone who has eating disordered behavior (or whatever you want to call it)
and
there is a big difference between those to things
I would suggest not getting involved in these discussions.
come up with a standard line or two and then stick with them
such as
you are very glad for your sister
and
your weight is a topic that is totally off limits in front of your face and behind your back
take your extra days off
like a day off each month
or every other week
or something of the like
so you are taking care of yourself
I am very glad that you found a helpful book and I know that reading has been a big help to you
as always, be careful in wrapping all your hopes up in a 3rd party or looking for ‘the answer’; it is very rarely one thing
it is a zillion little daily habits that make the difference in the end and I know you know that
really good post and I am glad that last week is over for you
I second what chris said!
be good to YOU, rest, live life and remember you are an amazing woman!
xo
Cindy recently posted..Dreaming of Mountain Life
Oh Hanlie, I so wish we could sit down and have a cup of tea! I grew up being compared to my thinner sister. ugh. I loved Women, Food and God, so much of it resonated with what I have been working towards. Sending you much love and light.
Kat recently posted..Vtrim – Positive Thinking and White Water Rafting- Oh my!
I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already!– Tommy Cooper