Mary from A Merry Life wrote about Food Guilt recently and I’ve been itching to weigh in on this, because it’s definitely been an issue for me in the past.
Most of us grew up in some sort of formalized religion where guilt played a prominent role. We joke about Catholics and guilt and Jews and guilt, but let me tell you, us Calvinists are major players in the guilt-game. I am no longer religious in the traditional sense of the word, but it’s definitely been a process for me to let go of the compulsion to feel guilty over everything I’ve ever done “wrong” in my life, from throwing yogurt in my sister’s face thirty odd years ago to getting fat in the first place and staying fat. And that’s just guilt over our perceived wrongdoings – there’s also the mountain of guilt about the things we didn’t do!
I have been learning to let go… of the notion that I’m somehow not good enough (“bad”) and most definitely of the guilt associated with making poor decisions.
Does that mean that I don’t believe in right and wrong anymore? Not at all! Stealing, telling lies, hurting a child, violence, murder, rape and a few other things I can’t think of right now are immoral and wrong.
Eating is not a moral issue, though.
It doesn’t matter what you ate, when you ate, how much you ate, or why you ate – you are not a bad person. Of course, usually it would be wrong to eat your team mate, but if you’ve been in a plane crash in the Andes and you’re starving to death I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with eating your dead team mates (I just fervently hope to never be in that position!)
Being fat is not a moral issue either. It doesn’t make you a “bad” person.
I honestly believe that we can only gain freedom from our weight problems when we release the weight of our guilt, forgive ourselves and accept who we’ve been in the past and who we are in this very moment.
Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting something go every day. – Zen Proverb
PS. This post is not about food ethics, which is of course a very important subject and something we all need to be more aware of.
Great post Hanlie! As you know, I SO agree re releasing the weight of our guilt. I truly believe that when we eat something with shame/guilt, no matter what it is, our bodies will respond in kind. And the same holds true when eat something with pleasure and joy…
Letting go is such a powerful thing!
KCLAnderson (Karen) recently posted..It’s A Matter Of Self Trust
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You’re going to love ‘Women Food and God’. Brilliant post.
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Michelle recently posted..Women- Food and God – where Im at
I agree, weight burdens us…and as a fellow calvinist I understand what you mean. all the better to understand utter depravity with my dear. lol.
We WORK for our guilt lololol.
eating doesn’t make you bad. too much will make you fat. It’s a consequence, not a moral failing.
Great post.
Great post Hanlie. I am working with this issue quite a bit these days. It is time to let goooooo….:-)
Kat recently posted..Guest post over at Susans today
EXCELLENT post!
Foodie McBody recently posted..Guest Post- Karen from Before-And-After
Wonderful Post!!! Food for thought!!!
This was really fabulous. And I love Mary too!
Great post, Hanlie! I wish more people could think it through and separate food from character issues.
Cammy@TippyToeDiet recently posted..Hot in Any Language
“throwing yogurt in my sister’s face”, tehe. I think we’ve all done something similar in our day…
It isn’t really about the food, so much of the time. Hence why my nutritionist and I are writing a book on that subject.
Sagan recently posted..Poll- Do You Journal
Great post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Thanks!